Remember when unlimited screen time was a child’s dream come true? I’ve been joking with my kid clients that the pandemic is teaching all of us to be careful what we wish for: maybe being on screens all day isn’t as much fun as we imagined it would be! As schools reopen and many students find themselves gearing up for another semester online, I thought might be helpful to discuss the phenomenon of Zoom fatigue: what it is, why it happens, and how we can help keep kids engaged and having fun on their school calls.
What’s Zoom Fatigue, and How Does It Affect Kids?
Have you ever finished a long day of back-to-back video conference calls and found yourself feeling surprisingly drained, even though you’ve been sitting still all day? That’s Zoom fatigue, a pandemic-era term for the physically and emotionally sluggish feeling some people describe after spending lots of time on video conference calls. Depending on your workload and how easily affected you are, you might feel a little irritable or flat-out tired.
Kids can be affected by Zoom fatigue, too, and I find that large group calls are often the hardest for them to manage. Older children can make the connection between their low energy and Zoom calls, but younger children may not be able to articulate what is hard for them about Zoom meetings. Here are a few signs and behavior changes to look out for that might mean Zoom fatigue is setting in for your child:
Reluctance or tearfulness when it’s time to join a call, even when it’s a social or fun meeting
Irritability or meltdowns that immediately follow Zoom calls
Fidgeting, difficulty sitting still, and trouble focusing
Unusual frustration or arguments with peers during meetings
Headaches, eye strain, or other physical complaints
If you’re noticing some of the symptoms above in your child, keep reading: there are ways adults can help make this temporary new normal easier for kids to manage.
But Wait! Zoom Isn’t All Bad News
Even though this post is about how to handle Zoom fatigue, I don’t want to leave you with the impression that all online activities are horrible. I’m a firm believer that online meetings aren’t necessarily better or worse than face-to-face. Zoom meetings are just different, with their own pros and cons, and we are still figuring out how to do them well.
For some kids, online sessions have some major advantages over meeting in person. Research shows that people who struggle with social anxiety feel more at ease online, which can make interacting over Zoom a more positive, less intimidating experience. Children with social anxiety may find it’s easier to make the first steps towards speaking up in class or talking to peers when there’s no pressure to immediately meet face-to-face.
There’s also a thought that meeting online equalizes some of the factors that could lead to bullying and teasing in person. For example, differences in height and other physical traits are less noticeable in Zoom meetings, where everyone is seated and your whole body isn’t on display. I wonder if online classes have also reduced teasing about the clothing children wear, since it’s hard to pass much judgment on an outfit when it’s mostly out of frame.
Zoom Engagement Tip #1: Add More Movement
It’s challenging enough for many kids to remain seated at a desk all day, but classes used to be broken up by recess, as well as trips to the bathroom and water fountain, gym class, and walks between classrooms. All those little breaks added up to a decent amount of movement throughout the day. In online meetings, kids aren’t getting any of those opportunities to move. Being sedentary all day long can drain energy, lower mood, and make it more difficult for kids to focus.
You can help your child minimize the drain of sitting down all day on calls by intentionally building more movement into your day. Use 20 minutes of your child’s lunch break to take a walk outside, or try out a yoga video on YouTube. Encourage your child to get out of her chair and stretch between calls, rather than simply waiting for the next one to begin. Hopefully, teachers are finding ways to incorporate movement in to their lesson plans, but any added opportunities to move can combat fatigue.
Another way to add more movement is by giving your child a fidget toy to use while seated. Kids aren’t getting the same sensory-rich experience on Zoom calls that they’d be getting in person, which can make sitting still in front of a screen even harder. A quiet, non-distracting fidget toy such as a Tangle or a Boink can help children keep their bodies engaged without pulling focus from the teacher.
Zoom Engagement Tip #2: Create the Right Space
When the pandemic first started, I assumed I’d be working from home for a matter of weeks. I grabbed a hard plastic folding chair, propped it awkwardly in the corner of a spare room, and figured I’d be good to go. Two weeks later, I was getting tension headaches, my energy was low, and I was starting to feel the drag of Zoom fatigue. Setting up a designated office space with a comfortable chair has made a big difference in my stamina for doing online conference calls.
One benefit of virtual meetings is that we get to control our own environment. We control the temperature of the room, we can sit in a way that feels comfortable, and our favorite drinks or snacks are available to us pretty much any time. When I see children for online therapy, they often have their favorite toys, blankets, and even pets on hand to help them feel comforted and grounded during session.
If you started off online school the way I started online therapy—preparing for weeks, not months, of working remotely—the new school year is a good time to reassess where and how your child is taking Zoom calls. You don’t need a Pinterest-worthy home office setup, but giving a child a designated, comfortable place to work can make it easier to stay focused as well as a more enjoyable experience. Here are a few tips to consider if you’re creating a “Zoom space” for your child this fall:
If your child will be joining calls from his bedroom, encourage him to sit at a table or desk rather than lying in bed. I’ve found when kids are joining calls from under the covers it leads to low energy, poor focus, and a general desire to go back to sleep!
The larger the screen, the easier it is for children to stay focused. Phones are not great for virtual calls, tablets are better, and a laptop or desktop computer is your best bet, if one is available.
Position your child’s computer at eye level to reduce strain and simulate “real” eye contact. All you need is a stack of books under your computer, and this can make a world of difference on Zoom calls.
It can be really tempting to pull up a second window to start a game or chat with friends during online calls: we’re all used to multitasking on computers, and it’s harder to get caught! Consider helping your child reduce distractions during school time by installing an app that blocks social media or other websites during study time.
Adding some sensory elements to your child’s work area can help offset the lack of sensory stimulation they’re getting from Zoom calls, which don’t often engage the full body the way in-person learning does. Weighted blankets, textured pillows, fidget toys, or scents that calm or energize your child can be helpful grounding tools as well as a way to make work time feel more fun and special.
Zoom Engagement Tip #3: Shift Your Schedule
Many schools are including more asynchronous learning this year, meaning that classes will be pre-recorded and available for children to watch at any time. This gives parents (and kids) a lot more freedom in figuring out a learning schedule that works for them and reduces Zoom fatigue. I think this is another silver lining of online learning: if your child is not a morning person, or learns better when they can have frequent breaks, they no longer have to conform to the typical 8-to-3 school day schedule.
On a personal note, adjusting my own schedule was the most helpful thing I have done to combat Zoom fatigue. Even though you’re sitting still, virtual calls can take a lot out of you! Communicating with other people online sometimes takes a little extra effort, especially when you’re still adjusting to the format. Working longer hours over 4 days worked well for me doing in-office work, but ended up being too much screen time for online calls. Spreading my sessions out over 5 days gives me more breathing room, and I’m much more energized for my meetings.
If you have some flexibility with your child’s school schedule this year, here are a few points to consider that may help combat Zoom fatigue:
If possible, give your child some control over her own schedule. Many children have felt very powerless during the pandemic, and being able to choose when to do school work can be empowering.
Consider breaking up the school day into smaller chunks, or spacing out the work over a longer span of days in order to reduce the consecutive hours spent in front of a screen each day.
Keep your schedule consistent whenever possible. Encourage your child to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day to promote healthy sleep. Maintaining predictable times for meals, study time, and play time can be reassuring for kids and reduces anxiety. It can also help kids maintain the habits and structure they’ll need when in-person school resumes.
Zoom Engagement Tip #4: Be Picky!
At the beginning of quarantine, many of us experienced a tidal wave of social Zoom calls. While we are all craving connection and looking for ways to spend our newfound free time, it’s okay to be selective, too. This is especially true for children, who may have a hard time staying engaged on social calls after a long day of school.
Just like any other activity, Zoom calls can become too much of a good thing. Be picky about what social calls you and your child agree to, and prioritize the meetings that are most important. If you notice your child is already feeling worn out from school calls, it’s totally fine to turn down the optional class check-in or book club chat. This allows your child to conserve his time and energy for the stuff that really matters.
In general, smaller calls cause less fatigue than larger group calls. Conversation flows much easier and feels more natural when you aren’t accidentally interrupting 10 other children. If you have an option for your child to meet with peers individually or in small groups, give this format a try. It’s likely to be a more fun experience for all involved, and you may find your child connects more easily with friends when there are fewer kids on the call.
I hope this post has been helpful to you as you navigate another highly unusual school year. Please drop me a line if you have questions or found this article helpful—I’d love to hear how you are managing online school! If you are looking for online counseling for your child, my (virtual) door is always open. I’m able to offer therapy to children and families in New York, North Carolina, and Florida.
If you’re looking for non-therapy resources, my online courses teach coping skills to kids to manage anxiety and stress. Check out Worry Free Tweens, which helps kids ages 8-12 learn how to cope with panic, anxiety, and worries.
