I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty saturated with news about the coronavirus pandemic right about now. If you’re like me, you are getting coverage 24/7 from all sides: the news, social media, friends…it can be a lot to take in. While we adults are busy processing all of the sound bites we’re getting from various media sources, kids are listening in, too.
The urgent tone of the news coverage of coronavirus can be alarming for children, and increase their worries. The good news is that there is helpful, age-appropriate information we can be giving to children right now to ease their anxiety. Today I’m sharing 3 of the most common fears I’m hearing children mention this week, as well as what we as adults can say and do to help.
#1. Fear of Getting Sick, or Fear of a Family Member Getting Sick
“Am I safe?”
This is often the first question kids have in moments of change, crisis, or transition. It’s totally normal for kids (and adults, too!) to worry about their personal safety above all else. Because children are so dependent on their parents, children often worry about their parents’ safety, too. Many kids may worry about what will happen to them if a parent is ill or otherwise unable to take care of them during a crisis.
I’m hearing many children voice concerns right now that they might become seriously ill, as well as worries about parents, grandparents, and relatives who may be elderly or have preexisting health problems. If your child has similar fears, you can help by making sure your child understands that the coronavirus usually causes very mild symptoms in children, and sometimes no symptoms at all. You can explain that children have strong bodies that can fight off coronavirus germs easily, but they can still carry these germs to other people who might get sick. This is why school and other group activities have been canceled: not because lots of kids are in danger, but to avoid accidentally spreading germs that might make others ill.
It’s also useful to remind children about all the steps that you and other important adults in their lives are taking to stay healthy: for example, washing your hands, practicing social distancing, and eating healthy foods. You can remind your child of the big network of caring adults in their lives, which may include close friends, extended family, and neighbors. Your child may feel more secure in knowing that these people will be available to take care of them, too, if you were ever feeling sick.
#2. Fear About How the Virus is Transmitted
We are still learning details about how the coronavirus spreads between people, but we have a pretty good understanding of how the illness is spread from person to person: through respiratory droplets, or by touching a contaminated surface. However, the fact that we can’t see the coronavirus can make it feel extra scary: we’re not sure where it is and isn’t, which means everyone is taking extra precautions. I’m finding that many children aren’t totally sure how the virus is transmitted, and may have incorrect ideas about how it is spread that lead to more anxiety.
Kids don’t need to know every detail about the current pandemic, but giving some age-appropriate information about what the virus does and how it is spread can alleviate worries. For example, I’ve heard many children have concerns that they might catch the virus through an open window, or that it might come into their home in the air without a sick person being nearby. By helping children understand exactly how a person gets coronavirus, we can allow them to feel more empowered about preventing the spread.
You can explain to children that usually the virus needs help to get into our bodies, and it can hitch a ride on our hands if they have germs on them when we touch our eyes, nose, or mouth. By washing our hands and avoiding touching our faces with dirty hands, we can help to keep the virus outside of our bodies.
#3. Fear of the Unknown
Personally, it is easier for me to cope with a situation when I know the end date. Wouldn’t it be easier to self-quarantine if we all knew for sure when the outbreak would resolve? I think many kids feel this way, too. It is hard for them to not know when school will be back in session, or if they will be able to celebrate their spring birthday with friends, or even if their summer vacation will happen as planned. This uncertainty can lead to more anxiety.
Right now, kids may have questions that we don’t have answers for yet. If your child asks you a question you don’t know the answer to, it’s perfectly fine to tell them you’re not sure. We can reassure children that we do know that the outbreak won’t last forever, and that things will eventually go back to normal. It might also be helpful for children to know that when we practice social distancing, we’re helping doctors and nurses to fight the virus so that the pandemic won’t last as long as it might otherwise.
Although a lot of routines are changing in children’s lives, some things remain constant. Help your child to recognize the parts of life that have stayed the same during the pandemic: maybe your whole family still has dinner together each night, or they still get to talk to their grandparents on FaceTime every Saturday afternoon. By maintaining family traditions and routines and highlighting them for children, you can make the world more secure and predictable for kids.
How to Help Children with Coronavirus Fears
Children are looking to the adults in their lives right now to determine how they should think and feel about the pandemic. By talking to our children honestly, but calmly, we can help them to take the outbreak seriously without adding unnecessary worry. When children don’t get enough information about the coronavirus, they tend to “fill in the blanks” with ideas or assumptions that might not be correct, leading to more fear. Providing age-appropriate facts can empower kids and reduce this anxiety.
You can also support your child by making sure they get a little bit of individual playtime with you each day, since children use their creative play to process their feelings about the world. This is also an important time to practice your own self-care, so that you can share your own feelings of calm with your children. If your child’s anxiety symptoms are increasing during the pandemic and you think they might benefit from some extra support, you may want to consider online therapy. If you’re in the Davidson, NC area, I’m happy to help!
