A lot has happened in the world since my last post! If you’re in North Carolina, today marks the beginning of a 21-day shelter-in-place order to help prevent further outbreak of COVID-19 and, hopefully, flatten the curve. This is a big deal for kids and families, who may suddenly be adjusting to a “new normal” that involves a lot more togetherness, unstructured time, and canceled plans. Part of my own new normal has been diving headfirst into the world of online therapy for children, and in this post I’ll be telling you all about what I’ve learned so far.
Are You Skeptical About Virtual Therapy? It’s OK—I Was, Too
I wish I could tell you that I’ve been 100% enthusiastically on board with online therapy for years and years, but that just isn’t true. Like many therapists, I have clung to the belief that in-person is always better. To my mind, online therapy was a “second place” option at best. After all, therapy is all about the healing relationship and connecting with the kids in my office: how can that work as well over a computer screen? How would play therapy work without a playroom?
When the new coronavirus started circulating in my area, there was no doubt in my mind about switching over to online sessions. I didn’t want to risk spreading germs to my immunocompromised families, or send a child to visit with Grandma and Grandpa not knowing if they might have picked up the virus in my playroom. “Second place” therapy in this situation, I figured, was better than no therapy at all.
Then I started actually doing online sessions, and I quickly realized what online therapists have been saying for years: online therapy is different, but equal to in-office counseling. In fact, sometimes it has an edge over face-to-face therapy when it comes to helping kids and families.
What Online Counseling Looks Like With Kids
Online counseling—also called Teletherapy, or distance therapy, uses video conferencing so that clients and therapists can see and hear each other in real time. If your child is familiar with FaceTime, Skype, or even Snapchat, they’ll probably have an intuitive understanding of how to use an online therapy platform. Most video chatting platforms used in therapy are designed to look and feel a lot like Skype or Zoom, but with more protections in place to prevent hacking and safeguard sensitive health information.
In my practice, I ask that children participating in online therapy have access to a computer with high speed internet in a room with a door that closes, in order to protect their privacy. It’s also helpful for kids to have paper, pencils, and markers available to use in session, just like they’d have if they were in my office. That’s likely all that older kids will need to have a successful virtual counseling session, but younger kids often enjoy having a few of their own toys on hand, as well. I’ve been introduced to lots of loveys and other special childhood toys this month!
Today’s Children Have Grown Up Using Technology to Connect
I often try to remember how I felt or reacted to things when I was the same age as my kid clients. This is helpful a lot of the time, but it held me back when I started considering online therapy. I tried to picture how I would have felt at 7, 8, 9, or 10 years old, talking to a counselor on our big family computer in the living room. It felt foreign and weird to think about, and I imagined it as a cold and clinical experience. At that time in my life, computers were still new, and the technology felt like it was separate from my day-to-day life.
However, my kid clients didn’t grow up like I did—and they probably didn’t grow up like you did, either. They’ve been FaceTiming aunts and grandparents since before they could talk. Many of them log many hours a week chatting with friends while playing Roblox or other multiplayer games with friends online. Communicating through technology doesn’t feel cold and detached to these kids: for many of them, it feels more familiar and “safe” than sitting on a couch and talking to an adult in real life.
There is Research to Support Teletherapy for Kids
When I’m trying to decide if a therapy treatment is legit, I turn to the research. It’s important to me that the techniques I use with kids have evidence to back them up, which is one reason why I love cognitive behavioral therapy. Luckily, there’s a growing body of research on teletherapy, and it comes to the same conclusion I’ve reached watching my clients in online sessions: online therapy can be just as effective (and sometimes more effective) as face-to-face counseling, even for kids.
Several peer-reviewed studies have found that people with anxiety and depression can get relief from online therapy, and that their improved mood continues after treatment is over. Researchers have also studied how kids respond to computer-based therapy, and found that it can be helpful for both depression and anxiety. According to the study, kids spend so much time on their phones and other devices that this form of therapy may come more naturally to them.
My Verdict On Online Therapy for Kids: It Is, in Fact, Legit
While some play therapy activities can’t be done online (I miss my sandbox!) there are plenty of reasons to consider online therapy as a different but equal way to get mental health help. Your child might be surprised to find they feel more comfortable chatting with their counselor from home, surrounded by their toys and pets. It may not be what we’re used to, but it’s legit.
Still looking for a therapist, but need some online help? My self-help course for kids teaches coping skills from an educational perspective, rather than a counseling one. Worry-Free Tweens was designed to help anxious kids ages 8-12 feel more in control of anxiety.
Still wondering about whether teletherapy could work for your child? Reach out to me here to learn more about online therapy for kids in the Lake Norman area.
