When I was three, my Dad brought home our first computer. It was an enormous, boxy thing that ran on MS-DOS and made screeching noises for about 5 minutes as it booted up. I was thrilled! Having access to games and limitless information was magical. Today, children are growing up in a world where they are inundated by internet access, and that access carries many more risks than it did when I was a kid in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I often hear that parents are questioning whether or not their child is old enough to go online, or how they can make sure their child is getting safe, age-appropriate experiences on the internet. Read on for tips on how to keep kids safe online, according to age.
Kids and Tech: The Pros and Cons
It can be tempting to try to keep kids off the internet entirely, to minimize the risk of them being exposed to dangerous or inappropriate situations. As scary as these risks can be at times, I think most children benefit from age-appropriate access to the internet. The internet has become most peoples’ primary source of information, and it can connect kids with tons of free resources to complete school assignments and generally learn about the world.
Lots of kids’ culture is now based online, and a child with no access to the internet is likely to feel left out of conversation with peers. I often hear from children that their desire to fit in with their classmates is their number one reason for wanting to go online or play a particular game. It’s important for children to feel like they’re a part of their peer group, and I think this is a valid reason to give kids exposure to at least some pop culture online.
On the other hand, there are very real dangers to unrestricted internet access. We’ve all heard horror stories about internet predators actively targeting children, sometimes with devastating results. Even if kids aren’t able to directly chat with anyone online, it’s very easy for children to come across violent material, hate speech, sexually inappropriate material, or even plain old fake news that can cause confusion. Often, children aren’t even seeking out this material but may stumble upon it anyway: for example, YouTube automatically queues videos to play, and has a bad track record of accidentally allowing disturbing videos into child-friendly feeds.
The internet is so pervasive now that it’s almost impossible to fully block a child’s access. Even if kids don’t have access at home, it is easy for them to sneak onto a friend’s smartphone at school, or get access in a public place. When internet access is completely forbidden, it can become “forbidden fruit” that is even more appealing to children. Providing structured, supervised access to the internet at a young age can help kids feel connected to their friends, while also teaching them safety skills that will help them navigate the internet more responsibly as they grow up.
Internet Safety for Preschoolers
Preschool-aged children have vivid imaginations, and it’s difficult for them to differentiate between what is real and what is pretend. Characters from TV, movies, and the internet can easily be frightening to young kids, and lead to nightmares and other anxiety-related problems. Preschoolers also don’t have the problem-solving skills yet to keep themselves safe online. For these reasons, it’s a good idea to put strict limits on screen time, and only allow preschoolers to use a computer if you’re sitting right beside them. Children at this age don’t need to be online, but Internet Safety 101 recommends that if you’d like to start teaching computer skills to your child, you can introduce them to age-appropriate educational games.
Internet Safety for Early Elementary Students
Kids in the early elementary school range (ages 5-7) are still working on separating what’s real from what’s pretend, and can still be prone to nightmares and anxiety from cartoon characters and other media. Most kids this age can already easily navigate a phone, type things into Google, and may even figure out how to make online purchases. For this reason, kids this age should always be supervised online. You might want to consider investing in parental control software to limit the places your child can go online, or limit them to a handful of websites you’ve already checked out and know are safe. Elementary school kids should never be able to chat with other people online, or give out any real information about themselves.
Internet Safety for Late Elementary Students
Older elementary school kids (ages 8-10) are maturing and crave more independence. Some kids this age may already have their own phone or tablet. Games like Minecraft and YouTube channels for kids are a huge part of popular culture for kids this age, but children this age are trusting and can still be easily tricked or scammed by adults online. Experts recommend keeping a family computer in a public area of the house, rather than in a child’s bedroom, and continuing to filter their internet access. Some kids may be ready to chat with friends on child-friendly platforms but shouldn’t be allowed to comment on sites with adults. Parents should still be supervising internet use, and can begin to teach kids about online safety.
More Resources for Kids and Parents
Internet Safety 101 is a fantastic resource for families that goes into more depth on how to help kids of all ages use technology in a safe way. I also recommend exploring options for parental control software to filter inappropriate websites, as well as apps like Bark that monitor kids’ computer and phone use for keywords that might signal a problem with bullying or other issues. If you’d like more guidance on this or other parenting concerns, and would like to hear about how counseling can help, reach out to me here.
