This is my second post in a series on internet safety. For part one, click here.
It’s rare to see a tween or teenage kid today without a smartphone. They can be an essential part of everyday life, allowing kids to share music and messages with friends, as well as giving them a way to reach out to parents in an emergency. However, access to a smartphone comes with serious risks for teens and tweens: research shows that half of teens are cyber bullied and one third of teen girls are sexually harassed online. The addictive nature of cell phones and the dangers children are exposed to on the internet have led some experts to recommend waiting until 8th grade to give a child a phone. Regardless of when you choose to let your child have a phone, here are some steps you can take to help your tween or teenage child stay safe online.
How Can Smartphones Cause Emotional Problems?
Too much time in front of a smartphone screen can lead to problems with emotional health, relationships, and safety. While some risks, like the risk of predators online seeking out children, are well-known, other risks are more subtle and less easy to recognize. Here are some points to consider when thinking about smartphone and internet safety for your preteen or teen:
Many apps and social media platforms are designed to be addictive, making it difficult for teens to stop using them once they’ve started.
Screen time cuts down on the face-to-face interaction a teen has with other people. Over time, this can lead to reduced empathy and a harder time recognizing other peoples’ emotions.
Influencers on social media may lead teens to be more materialistic and competitive.
Teens whose phone use isn’t monitored are at risk for being bullied by peers, which can contribute to anxiety and depression. This kind of harassment is surprisingly common, with at least half of teens reporting they’ve experienced it.
How Can Smartphones Be Dangerous for Teens?
Totally unsupervised smart phone use can expose teens and preteens to adult situations that put them at risk of being manipulated or abused. While many teens will never cone into contact with a predator online, for those who do the affects can be very damaging. Here are a few statistics about teens and crime on the internet:
According to the FBI, more than 50% of sexual exploitation victims are kids between the ages of 12 and 15.
The majority of attempts to make inappropriate advances on children happen in chatrooms or on platforms where users can direct message each other.
1 in 5 teens in the U.S. say they’ve received an unwanted sexual comment or advance online.
Given these stats, what can parents do to parents do to protect preteen and teenage kids from harm online without smothering them? Keep reading for some tips on how to keep preteens and teens safe online while still allowing them some freedom.
Internet Safety for Preteens
Preteens (ages 11-13) are often eager to imitate older teenage kids, including by getting on to social media platforms like TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram. Many preteens chat with their friends by text or through apps, and online friends are increasingly common for this age group. This can put preteens at risk, because it’s impossible to know exactly who your’e speaking to online, and preteens are still very susceptible to being manipulated or scammed by adults.
You can support your preteen by keeping their computer in a public area of the house, rather than their bedroom, and by filtering and monitoring their activities using parental control software. Children this age don’t need to be on social media platforms intended for adults, even though they are tempting. Although kids this age no longer need an adult constantly supervising their activity online, preteen kids should not have any email or social media accounts that parents do not have passwords or access to. At this age, parents should also be reviewing safety skills with kids, including the danger of speaking to strangers online, giving out personal information, or agreeing to meet an unknown person in real life.
Internet Safety for Teens
Teenagers (14-18) are getting ready to live their lives independently, but they still haven’t developed all the problem-solving skills they’ll need to navigate the adult situations that can arise online. It’s normal for teenagers to push the envelope by seeking out edgy or inappropriate content online, but searches for adult content can increase the risk of a teen being exposed to danger. Teenagers lack the life experience and history that adults have, which can make it harder to make informed decisions when it comes to issues like cyberbullying, sexting, communicating with strangers, and making online friends.
Many experts recommend that a teen’s online activities should still have an age-appropriate level of filtering and monitoring from parental control software. Similarly, it’s still recommended that a teenager use a computer in a public area of the house, as opposed to a private bedroom where there is no supervision at all. Parents should educate teens on how to be safe and responsible online, and the risks involved with sending people bullying or explicit messages. Many teenagers develop online friendships, and they may be eager to meet their friends in real life. Parents need to stay in touch with their teen children about their social lives online, and it is up to parents to decide whether an (accompanied) meetup with a new friend seems safe or not. Finally, any purchases that a teen makes online should be reviewed and monitored by parents to prevent illegal activity, identity theft, or overspending.
For More Information
I frequently recommend Internet Safety 101 as a resource for parents who are deciding on age-appropriate internet rules for their kids. You can also read more about the Wait Until 8th campaign, which advocates waiting until 8th grade to give children a smartphone. If your child has been affected by online bullying or harassment, my resource pages on anxiety and trauma may give you ideas on how to support your child through the experience. If you’re in the Davidson, NC area and interested in counseling for your child, you can contact me here.
